Fun Stuff

Artemis lends itself to a lot of pretty funny situations, if you have the right crew. Paraphrased from my game last week:

Science: The target has taken significant damage, sir.
Captain: Comms, ask for their surrender.
Comms: They've surrendered, sir!
Captain: Excell--
Tactical: Enemy destroyed!
Captain: What?
Engineering: Yeah! That'll teach them to surrender to us!
Helm: Wait, doesn't that make us war criminals?
Tactical: Not unless someone talks, HELM.
Science: Sensors indicate the ship was crewed entirely by orphans, sir.
Captain: Goddammitsomuch.
Science: They were also carrying prosthetic limbs for other orphans, sir.


Later, after a nuke was fired too close to the Artemis and killed both the enemy and the Artemis:

Captain: This is truly the darkest chapter of the Orphan Wars.


And thus was born the Orphan Wars: the saga of an increasingly desperate Human Race involved in a dire, life-or-death struggle with the wide-eyed, innocent children of the other races it had defeated in previous interstellar wars. It was wrong, but it was still pretty funny. We spent much of the following weekend blaming things on "those damned orphans".

What are your fun Artemis-related stories?