Sounds really great Oscar! You have some nice themes and melodies going together, providing dissonance and complexity.
I do have to agree with animenanashi on the trumpet sounding really digital. Aside from that, here are some ideas on specific parts.
In the first passage, once the 32nd-note (or is it 64th-note?) part comes in panned to the left, it sounds good. But once the other parts come in (the trumpet comes back in, and the chamber choir - 57 seconds into the tune), the 32nd-note part gets kind of buried in the mix. Try experimenting with dropping the volume of the voices and let the 32nd note countermelody shine a bit more. In fact, the legato feel and reverb of the voices makes it more prominent even without large volume. The tendency when mixing is to add volume to instruments that you aren't hearing enough. Sometimes, the opposite makes the mix cleaner and achieves the desired effect. Later, in the third passage (the big chorus), you have a full volume instrumentation, so we get to enjoy the voices at full volume. Therefore, I don't think the voices need to be as prominent in the first passage.
The second thing I would point out, and this may just be a personal opinion, is that I think the bass drum and cymbal swell usage in the middle section (1:27 - 1:50) could be better placed. The swells seem to be occuring on their own, but if they hit on the down beat of '1' in each measure, I think they would emphasize the chord changes better. I also think the bass drum hitting on the 1 would work in the same matter. What I would say, is that since really, that part is a restart to the final buildup, have the drums emphasize that point. Leave the first 4 bars with just a bass drum on the 1. After that, expand on the bass drum rhythm to build up to the final passage. On measure 5,make the bass drum 2 eighth notes on the one. Then build up to a sort of fill in the 8th bar. I think that will emphasize the buildup to the final passage's continuous 8th note triplet bass drums.
Lastly, if you aren't already listening to them, check out Bear McCreary's Battlestar Galactica soundtrack. The drums in your piece remind me of some things he did with some of the more military pieces that I think you will enjoy. Another composer to check out, is Murray Gold's Doctor Who Soundtracks. In the 2005-2008 soundtracks for Doctor Who, Murray uses a lot of choir voices to great effect.
Those are just my opinions. I try to be as constructive as possible. Please don't think of them as bashing your piece. Believe me, it's not. Your piece sounds great!
Once again, you've got a great ear for melody and composition Oscar. Keep it up!
[Last edited Jun 07, 2013 13:05:17]