Your Favorite Taunts from Film and Literature
Over the weekend I discussed with Thom the ideas of making the taunts more fun for Artemis 2.0. If implemented, this will make the taunts more canonical, increase the interaction between Science and Communications, and make the choice of taunt more important.
The new taunts will be race specific. For example, you might insult the Arvonian royal family, mock the Kralien religion, compare a Torgoth's mother to a space whale, or call a Skaraan ship a rust bucket.
At the start of each mission, every enemy ship will get a randomly-generated personality for its captain. That personality will make one of the taunts a sensitive spot for the captain (e.g. a pious Kralien will become enraged if you mock his sacred scripture). But another of the taunts will seem so silly to the captain that he/she will become immune to all taunts from you (e.g. an Arvonian captain who has publicly spoken out against the monarchy will just laugh if you insult her queen).
After the first scan identifies an enemy ship, Science will get a small TSN Intelligence report on the ship's captain. That report will give a hint about the best or worst taunt to use. For example:
COMMS: Sir, DS3 is under attack!
CAPTAIN: We can't get there now. Try taunting the enemy away from the station.
COMMS: Science, what can you tell me about that ship?
SCIENCE: K52 is a Skaraan Executor. The captain is very proud of his ship's speed.
COMMS: (sends) Attention K52! Your ship is so slow it leaves a slime trail!
K52: What? We will destroy you!
*or*
CAPTAIN: Comms, see if you can taunt that Kralien into the minefield.
COMMS: What have you got, Science?
SCIENCE: The captain of G41 was raised in an atheist family. He won't care if you insult their sacred scriptures. Try something else.
COMMS: Attention G41! I'm talking to you, maser-mouth! The deadliest weapon on that pathetic excuse for a ship is your face!
G41: What? We will destroy you!
Of course the classic science fiction taunt that worked was when Kirk said: "Khan, I'm laughing at the superior intellect." The taunt worked because Kirk knew something about Khan.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail taunts are silly and ineffective. Lines like "Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person!" didn't make the characters react at all.
Skakespeare had some of my favorite taunts. "Your bum is the greatest thing about you; so that in the beastliest sense, you are Pompey the Great."
What about you? Please tell us all your favorite taunts used in film, television, or literature to help make Artemis 2.0 more fun.
The new taunts will be race specific. For example, you might insult the Arvonian royal family, mock the Kralien religion, compare a Torgoth's mother to a space whale, or call a Skaraan ship a rust bucket.
At the start of each mission, every enemy ship will get a randomly-generated personality for its captain. That personality will make one of the taunts a sensitive spot for the captain (e.g. a pious Kralien will become enraged if you mock his sacred scripture). But another of the taunts will seem so silly to the captain that he/she will become immune to all taunts from you (e.g. an Arvonian captain who has publicly spoken out against the monarchy will just laugh if you insult her queen).
After the first scan identifies an enemy ship, Science will get a small TSN Intelligence report on the ship's captain. That report will give a hint about the best or worst taunt to use. For example:
COMMS: Sir, DS3 is under attack!
CAPTAIN: We can't get there now. Try taunting the enemy away from the station.
COMMS: Science, what can you tell me about that ship?
SCIENCE: K52 is a Skaraan Executor. The captain is very proud of his ship's speed.
COMMS: (sends) Attention K52! Your ship is so slow it leaves a slime trail!
K52: What? We will destroy you!
*or*
CAPTAIN: Comms, see if you can taunt that Kralien into the minefield.
COMMS: What have you got, Science?
SCIENCE: The captain of G41 was raised in an atheist family. He won't care if you insult their sacred scriptures. Try something else.
COMMS: Attention G41! I'm talking to you, maser-mouth! The deadliest weapon on that pathetic excuse for a ship is your face!
G41: What? We will destroy you!
Of course the classic science fiction taunt that worked was when Kirk said: "Khan, I'm laughing at the superior intellect." The taunt worked because Kirk knew something about Khan.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail taunts are silly and ineffective. Lines like "Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person!" didn't make the characters react at all.
Skakespeare had some of my favorite taunts. "Your bum is the greatest thing about you; so that in the beastliest sense, you are Pompey the Great."
What about you? Please tell us all your favorite taunts used in film, television, or literature to help make Artemis 2.0 more fun.
"Damn the torpedoes! Four bells, Captain Drayton!"
(Likely actual words of Admiral David Farragut, USN, at the battle of Mobile Bay. Four bells was the signal for the engine room to make full steam ahead).
(Likely actual words of Admiral David Farragut, USN, at the battle of Mobile Bay. Four bells was the signal for the engine room to make full steam ahead).
Love the idea, I want to also add that i would like to see it as an option in the scripting files so we could tweak them in a XML file
ericksoninmotion, I have suggested that the taunt file be an editable table, so modders can insert taunts appropriate to Klingons, Cylons, Storm Troopers, etc.
"Damn the torpedoes! Four bells, Captain Drayton!"
(Likely actual words of Admiral David Farragut, USN, at the battle of Mobile Bay. Four bells was the signal for the engine room to make full steam ahead).
(Likely actual words of Admiral David Farragut, USN, at the battle of Mobile Bay. Four bells was the signal for the engine room to make full steam ahead).
Most of my favourite taunts/insults are NSFW although I've always liked Dr. McCoys lines:
Pointy-eared hobgoblin!
Green-blooded Vulcan!
Admittedly, these were from Kirk:
Your father was a computer and your mother an encyclopedia!
You computerised halfbreed!
Pointy-eared hobgoblin!
Green-blooded Vulcan!
Admittedly, these were from Kirk:
Your father was a computer and your mother an encyclopedia!
You computerised halfbreed!
How appropriate! You fight like a cow!*
*Universal insult, practical for literally every detraction application
*Universal insult, practical for literally every detraction application
For all the Futurama fans, how about something along the lines of a Bender insult, for instance, "Bite my lustrous alloy posterior!"
"Bite my lustrous alloy posterior!"
Take note, Battlestar Galactica modders! Bender has some awesome taunts for the Cylons!
"Damn the torpedoes! Four bells, Captain Drayton!"
(Likely actual words of Admiral David Farragut, USN, at the battle of Mobile Bay. Four bells was the signal for the engine room to make full steam ahead).
(Likely actual words of Admiral David Farragut, USN, at the battle of Mobile Bay. Four bells was the signal for the engine room to make full steam ahead).
Oh dear, seems I forgot about the family-friendly taunts in Monkey Island and Futurama.
Looks like I'll be digging through some stuff for a bit :D
Looks like I'll be digging through some stuff for a bit :D
"Tell me what it was you were trying to accomplish here, and I'd be happy to tell you where you went wrong."
"I swear I will prosecute your death with an intensity that will force you to redefine your understanding of the word 'Relentless'."
“Look, we're so far out of your league that if your league somehow violently exploded, our sensors wouldn't pick up the boom for at least 3 days.”
"One of my trainers at the Academy told me once that 'Pain is your body's way of letting you know you're not dead.' If that's the case, I can promise that you're about to feel more alive than you ever have before. For about 30 seconds."
"We made such a business of you and your armada. We were wrong to even care. You weren't worthy of the time, and we're about to prove that."
"Back off, or I promise we will pursue you with a fury that is universal in scope and Biblical in it's ferocity."
"I swear I will prosecute your death with an intensity that will force you to redefine your understanding of the word 'Relentless'."
“Look, we're so far out of your league that if your league somehow violently exploded, our sensors wouldn't pick up the boom for at least 3 days.”
"One of my trainers at the Academy told me once that 'Pain is your body's way of letting you know you're not dead.' If that's the case, I can promise that you're about to feel more alive than you ever have before. For about 30 seconds."
"We made such a business of you and your armada. We were wrong to even care. You weren't worthy of the time, and we're about to prove that."
"Back off, or I promise we will pursue you with a fury that is universal in scope and Biblical in it's ferocity."
[Last edited May 03, 2013 03:35:21]
Those are great, Tre!
"Damn the torpedoes! Four bells, Captain Drayton!"
(Likely actual words of Admiral David Farragut, USN, at the battle of Mobile Bay. Four bells was the signal for the engine room to make full steam ahead).
(Likely actual words of Admiral David Farragut, USN, at the battle of Mobile Bay. Four bells was the signal for the engine room to make full steam ahead).
"You are clearly a dishonourable Captain, letting your infant children pilot your ship and operate your weapons systems!"
"Your culture is clearly an equal opportunities employer. My compliments to your blind, deaf, insane tactical officer." (Might be a bit too much that one.)
"Your grave marker - marble or granite?"
"We salute your bravery in coming against our fleet in such flimsy, malfunctioning rust buckets as your ship."
"Your name will forever be recorded in our history textbooks - as the prime example of tactical blundering."
"Your culture is clearly an equal opportunities employer. My compliments to your blind, deaf, insane tactical officer." (Might be a bit too much that one.)
"Your grave marker - marble or granite?"
"We salute your bravery in coming against our fleet in such flimsy, malfunctioning rust buckets as your ship."
"Your name will forever be recorded in our history textbooks - as the prime example of tactical blundering."
"We should give him the send-off he deserves. He died saving us all. Prepare a Rocket-Shed for immediate launch."
Ooh and a paraphrased one from "Galaxy Quest":
"Don't worry, those guys are as stupid as they are ugly. Oh, hey is this thing on?"
"Don't worry, those guys are as stupid as they are ugly. Oh, hey is this thing on?"
"We should give him the send-off he deserves. He died saving us all. Prepare a Rocket-Shed for immediate launch."
"Your grave marker - marble or granite?"
Because it's important you don't take your marble for granite. Bad-ump-pshhh!
Those are clever and original, JSpaced. Nice!
"Damn the torpedoes! Four bells, Captain Drayton!"
(Likely actual words of Admiral David Farragut, USN, at the battle of Mobile Bay. Four bells was the signal for the engine room to make full steam ahead).
(Likely actual words of Admiral David Farragut, USN, at the battle of Mobile Bay. Four bells was the signal for the engine room to make full steam ahead).
"You are unacceptable", "We will crush the blunt skulls"
"I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass."
"I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived."
"If you had another brain, it would be lonely."
"If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless."
"Thou art a lewd foul frog molester who gropes the portly disease and the drippy dillberry. "
"I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived."
"If you had another brain, it would be lonely."
"If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless."
"Thou art a lewd foul frog molester who gropes the portly disease and the drippy dillberry. "
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